I have often been asked, in Norway and Russia too, why I decided to look towards Russia when I wanted to find a girlfriend. There was more than one reason to this but one was prominent.
grew up much like a nerd, interested in history, sciences and books and
not so much interested in garment, dancing and idle chit-chat. I have
one brother but no sister, and I grew up in a village at that time
rather traditionbound - in other words one where he and she really
lived at different planets and had few ideas about life at the other
planet before they fell in love as teenagers. So when I came to the age
when interest in girls grew, I had little insight in the life and
desires of girls.
remember study years as a very frustrating time of many, many romantic
advances all ending in a dead end. I was simply not attractive to
girls, I guess. The one exception to the rule was mentally unbalanced
and fervently religious, so that relationship was doomed before it had
started. So when I moved to my present home town, with a diploma in my
luggage, I was susceptible to romantic advances from the other part -
and I ended up in a ten year long affair with a woman who in the end
developed a serious mental disturbance. A gentleman will not flee away
from his lady when times are hard, but when she became violent to our
son I took a handle on the case.
there I was, finish with an exhausting and dear affair. My next one is
going to have a calm mind and a flexible manner, I told myself. I
decided to try my hand at a correspondence affair, then emotions could
grow in spite of my awkward dancing feet and clumsy behaviour with
women. So I put out a profile at a couple of free-to-post net sites for
romance. But the response was disappointing, very few replies and even
fewer serious ones. I remarked one fact though, more than half of those
not so serious contacts came from abroad. So I decided that when I was
to get serious about it I should look abroad. I guessed that women in
Norway are used to being danced around by "lover-boys" with dancing
abilities like Fred Astaire or John Travolta, and are less interested
in correspondence romance.
then gave a very serious thought to where this woman should come from.
Russia & "almost Russia" stood out and for several reasons:
1. Russians etc. are northern peoples and have fewer problems with
adapting to the local nature and climate in Norway than those from
tropical countries. I am living at 69 degrees north after all.
2. I have been walking the streets in Russia and in Hungary, and seen
how much simpler it is to find my way when the language is
Indo-European, even with a different alphabet. It will probably be the
same to her when she immigrates.
3. The main reason that I terminated my former relationship was her
rising mental instability. But I can't deny that cultural difference -
she was from the Middle East - gave a mighty contribution to the
problems between us, so a cultural group closer to Norway than her was
4. The majority in Russia are like most in Norway, me included, not so
strict about religion. A big difference in how fervently faith is
practiced is a source for many antagonisms. That I vividly remember
from my failed relationship during my study years.
5. Her geographical background does count because she will probably
want to visit home from time to time. The distance to Russia is then
much less than for instance to Thailand, at least for the European part
of the country. Long distance voyages are unavoidably expensive voyages.
6. I can't deny that looks does matter to me. I must admit that African
faces don't appeal to me while European faces with dark hair do. That
is my personal taste and I do not demand this to be a norm for everyone.
7. It is always smart to get acquainted with the cultural background
she belongs to. What is present at the internet about Russian cultural
norms, habits, superstitions, manners etc. is endlessly far ahead of
anything explaining about other countries of the world. It was my
chance to know in advance what I was in for.
8. And finally off course, my own travels there does matter too. It for
sure helps that Russia is an exciting country with proud history, good
food, welcoming people...
first romantic travel was a failure, I ended up with a woman who
finally showed herself to desire a luxurious life and was willing to
swindle all those who didn't qualify to her norm of affluence. That
experience taught me a good deal about female dishonesty through
electronic correspondence, so when I had my profile published I was
able to pick out girls of low reputation. I have many letters of
gratitude from agency managers when I have warned them about dishonest
girls in their database, administrator at Dioritz too. I corresponded
for five months before I went on to meeting with Margarita, all the
time looking for not only dishonesty but also signs of personal
incompatibility: temper, interests, tolerance... More than one
connection broke and others never got started because of this.
finally in September 2004 I went to Murmansk to meet with her. By then
I was quite nervous, I had not yet formed any sure opinion of what she
looked like for my inner eye - photographs Margarita had sent me showed
both a slim girl and a well rounded one, this natural brunette has
occasionallly dyed her hair black and other times blond, her hair is
quite short now but she has formerly been wearing it long, and the
garment she wore when we met at the airport was totally new to me. If
she had not held up a sign at the airport I would hardly have been able
pick her out. But she recognized me, we had many talks during that week
and later on a long correspondence further, and what had been an
interest soon grew to be true love. When I asked her for her big YES
she knew me well enough to give me the great answer.
to the question if a russian love affair is anything good my answer is
a resounding and unequivocal YES ! Only make sure through the
correspondence that you are in connection with:
An honest woman - follow the tips given in blacklists, here below are
some good ones. Be aware of that marriage agencies can well be dens of
fraud, so join a good one, for instance Dioritz.
A woman who is personally compatible with yourself. My advice is to
read up on the culture where you decide to perform your search, here is
a good site with tips about culture in
Russia and next door.
beauty does inescapably matter but I insist that it is vital to feel at
harmony with her mind too. The lady of your choice may or may not be of
a little special background but if she is good that shouldn't matter
much - Margarita has a Kazan-tartarian mother but the old communist
system was good at unifying the people: Russians, Ukrainians and
Tartarians; atheists, orthodox and protestants; all such differences
matter immensely much less in Russia than personal qualities.
forgot to make clear precisely which my greatest motivation of all for
looking towards Russia is. I have included this in the Norwegian
language version coming shortly.
it was the huge mass of available ladies. I could with reasonable
assurance regard myself as good for at least some of them, without the
coy game girls in Norway like to play: Come to me - come to me - come
to me - oh shits you can go again, I am not interested in you after
all... I know that I am not the only man frustrated by this game. I
guess that this is her test to find out who are serious and attractive
in all aspects, but I think it has also something to do with a conflict
with the wishes of new Eve and the desires or old Eve. New Eve wants
him to be comfortable with gender equality, old Eve wants a gentleman
who is able to play on hidden desires. And now the catch: Eve doesn't
accept that there is a conflict hidden here - that a gentleman who is
king on the dancing floor and willing to sweet-talk her incessantly is
awfully often unwilling to take his turn in the household chores. But
when they want to get into contact with me, this problem is half solved
PS! Also I include a wish of good luck, for both him and her looking for love at Dioritz!